Sharples hits back at shabby work ethic in revealing confession

I am very sorry I am in Oslo, although the majority of the Norsk female population is clearly salivating at the prospect.

I was horrified to see that Jon Adamson has been allowed to go skiing, and seemingly without sanction. I would like to express the view that skiing is a sanitised yet extremely dangerous sport, during the pursuit of which one can break a leg as easily as serve a double fault.

I can bring personal experience to bear in testimony to this - some 5 years ago I was playing my customary magnificent tennis and went skiing to Val d'Isere, where my concentration was disturbed by 3 beautiful French girls intently eyeing my hip swing. In an attempt to exaggerate the hip movement, I fell heavily and clumsily in front of them, snapping my tibia and fibula over the top of my ski boot and wetting my salopettes as I passed out in pain and shock. I did not see these girls again. I missed a whole tennis season in convalescence and have been absolutely shite ever since.

Particularly in light of the wonderful things that are happening to the Vths, I am astonished that members are allowed to jeopardise the progress made by acquiescing to their demands to partake in such irresponsible and treacherous activities.