Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Magdalen Park Vth tennis star Sharples poached in shady deal
David Sharples, cornerstone of Magdalen Park Vth team's successful winter campaign, has resigned from the team "for personal reasons". Which is such bollocks, because he's astonishingly turned up in acquisitive Mark Scarles' IVth team roster.
Sharples, a top accountant, was seen offering free tax consultancy and £15 returns to Magdalen Park committe members and team captains. Bribery is an ugly word, but one that must be aired in this scenario. Meanwhile, his supercilious ("poncey") gilded volleys had always irked team colleagues. "He never really bent his knees," suggests former partner Marcus Clay.
Moaned beleaguered skipper Willcocks: "We've been stuffed by preying, ruthless tactics from other tennis teams before. We always bounce back. What players don't realise is that they'll miss frequent appearances in squads with existing cosy, regular couplings and the Vth team is in a higher league in the Winter anyway."
The Vth team is renowned for its ability to identify and recruit upcoming talent: Graham Broderick, Percy Hallam, Ewan Cameron, Mark Scarles, Farouk Ravzi and Tim Henman all lost their hard court virginities with the Vth.
David Sharples, cornerstone of Magdalen Park Vth team's successful winter campaign, has resigned from the team "for personal reasons". Which is such bollocks, because he's astonishingly turned up in acquisitive Mark Scarles' IVth team roster.
Sharples, a top accountant, was seen offering free tax consultancy and £15 returns to Magdalen Park committe members and team captains. Bribery is an ugly word, but one that must be aired in this scenario. Meanwhile, his supercilious ("poncey") gilded volleys had always irked team colleagues. "He never really bent his knees," suggests former partner Marcus Clay.
Moaned beleaguered skipper Willcocks: "We've been stuffed by preying, ruthless tactics from other tennis teams before. We always bounce back. What players don't realise is that they'll miss frequent appearances in squads with existing cosy, regular couplings and the Vth team is in a higher league in the Winter anyway."
The Vth team is renowned for its ability to identify and recruit upcoming talent: Graham Broderick, Percy Hallam, Ewan Cameron, Mark Scarles, Farouk Ravzi and Tim Henman all lost their hard court virginities with the Vth.
Comments:
I have learned a valuable lesson, but I am not sure that even my extravagent entreaties and contrition will have done enough to pave the way for my Vth team recall. Oh for those lamented halcyon days of camaraderie, windswept courts and backspin drop serves.
Blinded and rendered insane by personal ambition, I was financially raped by the less scrupulous members of the inner sanctum of the club's selection body who promised me ever more lofty tennis heights in return for a bit of free advice and the odd healthy bung.
Not only am I now under investigation by my profession's governing body, but my one and only foray into the higher tennis echelons resulted in the mother of all banjoings from some team next to a Council Estate in Streatham. This was not exactly the promised pristine grass court environment to "suit my serve and volley game" which had caused me to acquiesce to demands for large amounts of cash to leave my wallet.
One last chance Roger???
David
Post a Comment
Blinded and rendered insane by personal ambition, I was financially raped by the less scrupulous members of the inner sanctum of the club's selection body who promised me ever more lofty tennis heights in return for a bit of free advice and the odd healthy bung.
Not only am I now under investigation by my profession's governing body, but my one and only foray into the higher tennis echelons resulted in the mother of all banjoings from some team next to a Council Estate in Streatham. This was not exactly the promised pristine grass court environment to "suit my serve and volley game" which had caused me to acquiesce to demands for large amounts of cash to leave my wallet.
One last chance Roger???
David
