Willcocks threatens to quit if tennis team doesn't win

Disgruntled by consistently poor summer results over the past three years, edgy Magdalen Vth team skipper Willcocks was considering his future.

Whilst Vth team summer tennis has a winning %, no promotion has been secured since 2002, despite 4 consecutive promotions in the winter. Magdalen V needs to secure victory in its final match to have a winning season and vie for second spot.

"It pisses me off," he admittedly privately. "At 2 and 2, it's hardly stellar. Anyway, I am thinking of switching to rugby, where my organisational skills will surely pay more dividends."

Willcocks is also known to harbour affection for the singles game, where his stamina and spatial awareness are at a premium.