Thursday, April 08, 2004
Magdalen Park kitchens under drugs fire
Top players in Magdalen Park Vth team - alert at all times to the dangers of inadvertently exposing their organically sculpted body to performance enhancing drugs - are threatening to boycott the club kitchen.
"It was with horror that I learned that nandrolone occurs naturally in horse and boar liver," queried David "serve-and-volley" Sharples. "We are forced to ask whether or not it is genuinely pure coincidence that horse liver toasties in great quantities have recently replaced the highly popular turkey club sandwiches on the Club's Saturday luncheon menu."
Dave the Catering Manager was less than robust, but affable in his defence. "I may or may not have a job next season. What's important is the club, the team and the fans. Horse liver is very popular in Rome."
Top players in Magdalen Park Vth team - alert at all times to the dangers of inadvertently exposing their organically sculpted body to performance enhancing drugs - are threatening to boycott the club kitchen.
"It was with horror that I learned that nandrolone occurs naturally in horse and boar liver," queried David "serve-and-volley" Sharples. "We are forced to ask whether or not it is genuinely pure coincidence that horse liver toasties in great quantities have recently replaced the highly popular turkey club sandwiches on the Club's Saturday luncheon menu."
Dave the Catering Manager was less than robust, but affable in his defence. "I may or may not have a job next season. What's important is the club, the team and the fans. Horse liver is very popular in Rome."
Sharples 50% sure: "there have been so many"
Magdalen Park Vth Team's woes continued when David Sharples, the glamorous accountant. appeared to relax his guard about recent rumours flying around about his involvement with Rebecca Loos in "threesomes with tennis starts." Sadly, to the outside eye, his excuses seem reminiscent of Pat Cash in the Sun.
Magdalen Park Vth Team's woes continued when David Sharples, the glamorous accountant. appeared to relax his guard about recent rumours flying around about his involvement with Rebecca Loos in "threesomes with tennis starts." Sadly, to the outside eye, his excuses seem reminiscent of Pat Cash in the Sun.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Were Magdalen Park Vth team aces there with Loos & Becks?
Prompted by the allegations that Ms. Loos (recently associated with gifted footballer David Beckham) has "shared a bed once with three top tennis players", Magdalen Park officials have moved swiftly to scotch any suggestions that David Sharples and Paulo Schmetzer have been linked with the Ms. Loos threesome.
It is well known that both Schmetzer and Sharples like their parties and enjoy hanging out with attractive women in sporting circles. "Two at a time is my max," said Schmetzer limply. Sharples is fabled for his weakness for sexy, fun loving brunettes.
Prompted by the allegations that Ms. Loos (recently associated with gifted footballer David Beckham) has "shared a bed once with three top tennis players", Magdalen Park officials have moved swiftly to scotch any suggestions that David Sharples and Paulo Schmetzer have been linked with the Ms. Loos threesome.
It is well known that both Schmetzer and Sharples like their parties and enjoy hanging out with attractive women in sporting circles. "Two at a time is my max," said Schmetzer limply. Sharples is fabled for his weakness for sexy, fun loving brunettes.
Friday, April 02, 2004
How clean are Magdalen Park coaches?
After a spate of recent stories (cf. The Herald and The Australian) about the frail morality of our coaches, surely Magdalen Park should be inspecting its own navel? Whilst practices are surely unimpeachable, the club's standing can only be increased by an independent audit.
After a spate of recent stories (cf. The Herald and The Australian) about the frail morality of our coaches, surely Magdalen Park should be inspecting its own navel? Whilst practices are surely unimpeachable, the club's standing can only be increased by an independent audit.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Tennis in the wind
People often ask me what's the key to Magdalen Park Vth team's success. I mumble something about organisation and deep pockets. Now, I am prompted to add: we play well in the wind. And I found this amusing mini-Bible on the subject.
People often ask me what's the key to Magdalen Park Vth team's success. I mumble something about organisation and deep pockets. Now, I am prompted to add: we play well in the wind. And I found this amusing mini-Bible on the subject.
