Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Magdalen Park Vth rebuilds after major spring upheaval
Shocked by departures, resignations and sackings, Magdalen's Vth team has a tough, uphill struggle to pave its baseline with glory. Denuded of questionable former talent, decisive measures have been taken in the transfer market to bolster the faithful core of Willcocks, Schmetzer and Clay.
In come Graham Goode, a newbie who plays to the standards implied by his name. Matthew Wakefield, the promising big hitter and Patrick Jamieson, the mercurial baseline piledriver. On limited funds, one can only applaud the team's management in attracting this new generation of stars.
Shocked by departures, resignations and sackings, Magdalen's Vth team has a tough, uphill struggle to pave its baseline with glory. Denuded of questionable former talent, decisive measures have been taken in the transfer market to bolster the faithful core of Willcocks, Schmetzer and Clay.
In come Graham Goode, a newbie who plays to the standards implied by his name. Matthew Wakefield, the promising big hitter and Patrick Jamieson, the mercurial baseline piledriver. On limited funds, one can only applaud the team's management in attracting this new generation of stars.
Magdalen Park Vth tennis star Sharples poached in shady deal
David Sharples, cornerstone of Magdalen Park Vth team's successful winter campaign, has resigned from the team "for personal reasons". Which is such bollocks, because he's astonishingly turned up in acquisitive Mark Scarles' IVth team roster.
Sharples, a top accountant, was seen offering free tax consultancy and £15 returns to Magdalen Park committe members and team captains. Bribery is an ugly word, but one that must be aired in this scenario. Meanwhile, his supercilious ("poncey") gilded volleys had always irked team colleagues. "He never really bent his knees," suggests former partner Marcus Clay.
Moaned beleaguered skipper Willcocks: "We've been stuffed by preying, ruthless tactics from other tennis teams before. We always bounce back. What players don't realise is that they'll miss frequent appearances in squads with existing cosy, regular couplings and the Vth team is in a higher league in the Winter anyway."
The Vth team is renowned for its ability to identify and recruit upcoming talent: Graham Broderick, Percy Hallam, Ewan Cameron, Mark Scarles, Farouk Ravzi and Tim Henman all lost their hard court virginities with the Vth.
David Sharples, cornerstone of Magdalen Park Vth team's successful winter campaign, has resigned from the team "for personal reasons". Which is such bollocks, because he's astonishingly turned up in acquisitive Mark Scarles' IVth team roster.
Sharples, a top accountant, was seen offering free tax consultancy and £15 returns to Magdalen Park committe members and team captains. Bribery is an ugly word, but one that must be aired in this scenario. Meanwhile, his supercilious ("poncey") gilded volleys had always irked team colleagues. "He never really bent his knees," suggests former partner Marcus Clay.
Moaned beleaguered skipper Willcocks: "We've been stuffed by preying, ruthless tactics from other tennis teams before. We always bounce back. What players don't realise is that they'll miss frequent appearances in squads with existing cosy, regular couplings and the Vth team is in a higher league in the Winter anyway."
The Vth team is renowned for its ability to identify and recruit upcoming talent: Graham Broderick, Percy Hallam, Ewan Cameron, Mark Scarles, Farouk Ravzi and Tim Henman all lost their hard court virginities with the Vth.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Clay sighted in Rome during fire
Magdalen Park tennis ace Marcus Clay was allegedly spotted "hanging around" the Italian Masters tournament with a big box of matches. Experts suggest he was recruiting talent for the summer season and, embittered after an apparent failure, turned to arson.
"I can hardly speak the lingo," he muttered. "Ciao."
Magdalen Park tennis ace Marcus Clay was allegedly spotted "hanging around" the Italian Masters tournament with a big box of matches. Experts suggest he was recruiting talent for the summer season and, embittered after an apparent failure, turned to arson.
"I can hardly speak the lingo," he muttered. "Ciao."
