Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Wimbledon movie uses computer generated balls
According to the London free press the revolutionary sports movie, Wimbledon, uses computer-generated tennis balls to recreate world-class line-shots, smashes, etc Well, I think we could all benefit from this technology - it might save a fortune in Magdalen's prodigious coaching fees.
According to the London free press the revolutionary sports movie, Wimbledon, uses computer-generated tennis balls to recreate world-class line-shots, smashes, etc Well, I think we could all benefit from this technology - it might save a fortune in Magdalen's prodigious coaching fees.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Holyfield half volleys and backhand slice don't cut the mustard
In a blustery, sun-spoiled Saturday morning set, John Holyfield fell to Roger Willcocks'mixture of attacking flair and defensive tenacity - in yet another tiebreak.
Holyfield made the early running with some quality half volleys, but Willcocks switched tack after Holyfield expressed his preference for these during a switch-over. Doh! Both players made a catalogue of errors, but Willcocks had just a shave more in attack. "My backhand produced a few surprise winners," he grunted.
Opposite, Derek Cook dished out a 6-0 drubbing to Marcus Clay.
In a blustery, sun-spoiled Saturday morning set, John Holyfield fell to Roger Willcocks'mixture of attacking flair and defensive tenacity - in yet another tiebreak.
Holyfield made the early running with some quality half volleys, but Willcocks switched tack after Holyfield expressed his preference for these during a switch-over. Doh! Both players made a catalogue of errors, but Willcocks had just a shave more in attack. "My backhand produced a few surprise winners," he grunted.
Opposite, Derek Cook dished out a 6-0 drubbing to Marcus Clay.
Willcocks nicks five games against Magdalen big hitter, Coleman
Roger Willcocks hung on in there to claim five games against Martin Coleman, clearly destined for the higher leagues. Coleman is one of Magdalen's power players, with a massive first serve and plenty of topspin power.
But Willcocks, with a combination of weighted slice and off-pace flat strokes drew a flurry of errors from Coleman as he strove to produce some power. Coleman edged ahead 5-3 after a break, but Willcocks dug deep to claw back into a tie-break which he blew 5-7.
Both players whinged about the quality of Colemam's balls. "The bounce was unpredictable," said Willcocks. Coleman claimed they were the same as those used in the US Open. Yeah right, Martin.
Roger Willcocks hung on in there to claim five games against Martin Coleman, clearly destined for the higher leagues. Coleman is one of Magdalen's power players, with a massive first serve and plenty of topspin power.
But Willcocks, with a combination of weighted slice and off-pace flat strokes drew a flurry of errors from Coleman as he strove to produce some power. Coleman edged ahead 5-3 after a break, but Willcocks dug deep to claw back into a tie-break which he blew 5-7.
Both players whinged about the quality of Colemam's balls. "The bounce was unpredictable," said Willcocks. Coleman claimed they were the same as those used in the US Open. Yeah right, Martin.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Schmetzer et al get off lite for bad language
Prestigious US sports commentator with the inviting name of Fuckedsports.com reminds me of the cash penalties of foul mouthing. I am certain that the Magdalen Committee will crack down on bad language and - in particular - foreign terms, which should be fined double. The proceeds could be used to fund the Christmas Party.
Well, maybe yours truly is a culprit as well. According to Schmetzer, my screams of “rush of blood” and “shit missed again” will be sorely missed. Va franculo, or something.
Prestigious US sports commentator with the inviting name of Fuckedsports.com reminds me of the cash penalties of foul mouthing. I am certain that the Magdalen Committee will crack down on bad language and - in particular - foreign terms, which should be fined double. The proceeds could be used to fund the Christmas Party.
Well, maybe yours truly is a culprit as well. According to Schmetzer, my screams of “rush of blood” and “shit missed again” will be sorely missed. Va franculo, or something.
Willcocks quits Magdalen team tennis shock
True to his word, Roger Willcocks is packing it all in.
Leaving the club in his BMW after another ignominious defeat, Willcocks was uncharacteristically terse. "I promised to resign on a point of principle if Magdalen Vth lost its final fixture - well, we did." Magdalen suffered a heart-wrenching losing season (W2 L3).
Tennis afficionadoes at Magdalen were stunned by the announcement. "He put so much into it, I thought he was a lifer," sobbed Magdalen's female ace, Katy Pickles. "I had a knock with him once. His enthusiasm was only matched by his first serve." Clubhouse rumours persist that Willcocks' captaincy aspirations lie in different directions: bridge, equestrianism or even marathon-running.
Sources close to Willcocks suggest he's overwhelmed by the tedium of doing all the donkey work for a team that can't win in the summer. That said, his winter record is exemplary.
Finding a successor will be a challenge. Magdalen has not announced any plans.
True to his word, Roger Willcocks is packing it all in.
Leaving the club in his BMW after another ignominious defeat, Willcocks was uncharacteristically terse. "I promised to resign on a point of principle if Magdalen Vth lost its final fixture - well, we did." Magdalen suffered a heart-wrenching losing season (W2 L3).
Tennis afficionadoes at Magdalen were stunned by the announcement. "He put so much into it, I thought he was a lifer," sobbed Magdalen's female ace, Katy Pickles. "I had a knock with him once. His enthusiasm was only matched by his first serve." Clubhouse rumours persist that Willcocks' captaincy aspirations lie in different directions: bridge, equestrianism or even marathon-running.
Sources close to Willcocks suggest he's overwhelmed by the tedium of doing all the donkey work for a team that can't win in the summer. That said, his winter record is exemplary.
Finding a successor will be a challenge. Magdalen has not announced any plans.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Magdalen notch up losing tennis season
OK. Here's the sad news - blow-by-blow results on another so not fun summer for Magdalen Park's Vth team:
Magdalen (1) v. Sutton V (3) - LOSS
South Croydon (3) v. Magdalen (1) - LOSS
Magdalen (4) v. Downs ii (0) - WIN
Worcester Park (1) v. Magdalen (3) - WIN
Magdalen (1) v. Sutton Churches (3) - LOSS
Net, net: W2 L3."We suck," said Magdalen skipper Roger Willcocks. "Home and away."
OK. Here's the sad news - blow-by-blow results on another so not fun summer for Magdalen Park's Vth team:
Magdalen (1) v. Sutton V (3) - LOSS
South Croydon (3) v. Magdalen (1) - LOSS
Magdalen (4) v. Downs ii (0) - WIN
Worcester Park (1) v. Magdalen (3) - WIN
Magdalen (1) v. Sutton Churches (3) - LOSS
Net, net: W2 L3."We suck," said Magdalen skipper Roger Willcocks. "Home and away."
Magdalen Vth stymied by Sutton Churches 3-1
Only Schmetzer and Willcocks managed to win a paltry rubber in a depressing match, peppered with unanswered questions, unlucky breaks, squandered opportunities and bodged tie-breaks. Every Magdalen player was heard swearing - some in foreign languages.
"Life's a bitch," said an emotional skipper, Roger Willcocks.
Only Schmetzer and Willcocks managed to win a paltry rubber in a depressing match, peppered with unanswered questions, unlucky breaks, squandered opportunities and bodged tie-breaks. Every Magdalen player was heard swearing - some in foreign languages.
"Life's a bitch," said an emotional skipper, Roger Willcocks.
Magdalen's Clay and Wakefield fizzle out after marathon tennis action
Even a careful study of the official score card does not reveal quite what happened to Marcus Clay and Mathew Wakefield. Having lost their first set unconvincingly, the Magdalen pair butched out a massive, edge-of-the-seat tie-break (13-11) to nick the second. Powering ahead 5-2 in the third, things looked, well, signed and delivered.
Not so, Sutton Churches crawled back into the set to 5-5. Games were then traded for the next hour or so, both sides clubbing out points, losing serve, breaking back all the way until...you guessed it. The Magdalen pair lost it 11-9. In the third.
Demoralised, spent and exhausted, the pair crumbled 6-4, 6-1 to Roy Orbison and companion.
Even a careful study of the official score card does not reveal quite what happened to Marcus Clay and Mathew Wakefield. Having lost their first set unconvincingly, the Magdalen pair butched out a massive, edge-of-the-seat tie-break (13-11) to nick the second. Powering ahead 5-2 in the third, things looked, well, signed and delivered.
Not so, Sutton Churches crawled back into the set to 5-5. Games were then traded for the next hour or so, both sides clubbing out points, losing serve, breaking back all the way until...you guessed it. The Magdalen pair lost it 11-9. In the third.
Demoralised, spent and exhausted, the pair crumbled 6-4, 6-1 to Roy Orbison and companion.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Willcocks threatens to quit if tennis team doesn't win
Disgruntled by consistently poor summer results over the past three years, edgy Magdalen Vth team skipper Willcocks was considering his future.
Whilst Vth team summer tennis has a winning %, no promotion has been secured since 2002, despite 4 consecutive promotions in the winter. Magdalen V needs to secure victory in its final match to have a winning season and vie for second spot.
"It pisses me off," he admittedly privately. "At 2 and 2, it's hardly stellar. Anyway, I am thinking of switching to rugby, where my organisational skills will surely pay more dividends."
Willcocks is also known to harbour affection for the singles game, where his stamina and spatial awareness are at a premium.
Disgruntled by consistently poor summer results over the past three years, edgy Magdalen Vth team skipper Willcocks was considering his future.
Whilst Vth team summer tennis has a winning %, no promotion has been secured since 2002, despite 4 consecutive promotions in the winter. Magdalen V needs to secure victory in its final match to have a winning season and vie for second spot.
"It pisses me off," he admittedly privately. "At 2 and 2, it's hardly stellar. Anyway, I am thinking of switching to rugby, where my organisational skills will surely pay more dividends."
Willcocks is also known to harbour affection for the singles game, where his stamina and spatial awareness are at a premium.
Magdalen's tennis victors say "schtumm"
Magdalen Park's victorious players, in a shock move, declined to comment on their 3-1 win against Worcester Park. That's right. Messrs. Clay et al kept a tight-lipped silence in the face of a media frenzy. Insiders suggest the decision was driven by the shoddy, scurrilous treatment of various players after the shambolic loss against South Croydon.
Having just about - mathematically at any rate - turned the corner on a miserable summer (W2-L2), it was widely expected that team members would come out fighting.
"They owe it to the fans," said massive fan Liz Brennan. "They represent the club and We're desperate to hear what went on down there. It's not cricket."
Farouk Razvi was dropped after missing a smash. "We saw it coming and he deserved it," said one tennis expert.
Magdalen Park's victorious players, in a shock move, declined to comment on their 3-1 win against Worcester Park. That's right. Messrs. Clay et al kept a tight-lipped silence in the face of a media frenzy. Insiders suggest the decision was driven by the shoddy, scurrilous treatment of various players after the shambolic loss against South Croydon.
Having just about - mathematically at any rate - turned the corner on a miserable summer (W2-L2), it was widely expected that team members would come out fighting.
"They owe it to the fans," said massive fan Liz Brennan. "They represent the club and We're desperate to hear what went on down there. It's not cricket."
Farouk Razvi was dropped after missing a smash. "We saw it coming and he deserved it," said one tennis expert.
Tennis inferno goes Magdalen Park's way
Tennis' bad boys - Magdalen Park Vth team - gouged out a workmanlike 3-1 victory against Worcester Park in sweltering heat. "The balls were melting," observed Matthew Wakefield, Magdalen's canny lawyer-cum-big-server.
Magdalen's victory is all the more creditable since the surface was grass, the green stuff upon which people have picnics. The game was no picnic, however. "We really sweated our souls out," claimed Marcus Clay skipper on the day, "and everything seemed to happen so quickly."
Matthew Wakefield and Graeme "everso" Good won both their rubbers, creaming one pair (6-0, 6-3) and coming from behind to take Worcester Park's young dynamos in three (3-6, 6-3, 6-2). Marcus Clay and Derek Cook eased ahead to take their first rubber (7-5, 6-2), but lost out to the young-uns in three sets (6-4, 3-6, 3-6).
Much to general Vth team disgust, Cook - a disease expert - suggested the rubber was already dead: "it's hardly a life-and-death matter". Cook - spelled without an "e" - was seen pouring water over his head during changeovers.
The result just about keeps Magdalen in the race for promotion, meaning it needs to take 7 rubbers in its final game on Sept 12th.
Tennis' bad boys - Magdalen Park Vth team - gouged out a workmanlike 3-1 victory against Worcester Park in sweltering heat. "The balls were melting," observed Matthew Wakefield, Magdalen's canny lawyer-cum-big-server.
Magdalen's victory is all the more creditable since the surface was grass, the green stuff upon which people have picnics. The game was no picnic, however. "We really sweated our souls out," claimed Marcus Clay skipper on the day, "and everything seemed to happen so quickly."
Matthew Wakefield and Graeme "everso" Good won both their rubbers, creaming one pair (6-0, 6-3) and coming from behind to take Worcester Park's young dynamos in three (3-6, 6-3, 6-2). Marcus Clay and Derek Cook eased ahead to take their first rubber (7-5, 6-2), but lost out to the young-uns in three sets (6-4, 3-6, 3-6).
Much to general Vth team disgust, Cook - a disease expert - suggested the rubber was already dead: "it's hardly a life-and-death matter". Cook - spelled without an "e" - was seen pouring water over his head during changeovers.
The result just about keeps Magdalen in the race for promotion, meaning it needs to take 7 rubbers in its final game on Sept 12th.
